So, here's my essay to get into pharmacy school. Feel free to leave any comments, criticisms, etc. that you might have. Don't hesitate to be brutal. I need your feedback.
Here are the instructions for the essay. Remember, 4500 characters is a lot less than it seems.
INSTRUCTIONS: Your Personal Essay should address why you selected pharmacy as a career and how the Doctor of Pharmacy degree relates to your immediate and long-term professional goals. Describe how your personal, educational, and professional background will help you achieve your goals. The personal essay is an important part of your application for admission and provides you with an opportunity for you to clearly and effectively express your ideas.
You are encouraged to compose your essay in a text-only word processor (e.g., Notepad), review your essay for errors, then cut and paste the final version into the text box above. Click the Save button and then return to the Personal Essay to review the formatting of your text. You are limited to approximately 1 page (4500 characters, including spaces). Some formatting characters used in programs like Word (angled quotes, accents, special characters) will not display properly. Take care to review your final text and to make the necessary corrections to the format.
-----------------------------ESSAY-----------------------------
I believe I can say with a fair degree of certainty that I am one of few pharmacy school applicants that you’ll see this year with a degree in photography. Unlike probably many of your applicants, I haven’t always known that I wanted to be a pharmacist, at least consciously. My journey began with me desiring to be a neurologist; from there, a twist of events lead me into art, what I believe is one of my God-given passions. But after spending a year living in Scotland, going to art school and working professionally, I discovered that an art career was not all that I had imagined. When I was forced to do something I normally got inspired to do, I realized this career was not for me. About halfway through my year abroad however, I discovered that I was still quite interested in medicine. I loved biology, and was fascinated by chemistry. When I got back home, I decided that I would start taking pre-med classes, while finishing up my bachelor’s. I began learning everything I could about being a doctor, but as I did, I began to have a familiar sinking feeling again. Medicine was not only a career, but also a lifestyle. I began to seriously question my interest. I loved medicine, but was I really willing to give up my idea of a family, the ability to spend a moderate amount of time playing with my children and loving my wife? I felt a resounding “no” from deep within me.
At this point, a memory from my childhood emerged into my subconscious. I remembered myself as a little boy playing with a chemistry kit my parents had given me. It was very basic, with a few compounds, and allowed me to make my own “goo.” But I spent hours with it, attempting to make something that smelled bad, turned funny colors, or exploded. I began to review my past, remembering instances where as a young boy, I recited to my doctor the exact name and dosage of a topical that I was using. I remembered, as a teenager, being a chemistry class aide, and how I loved setting up for experiments with liquid nitrogen and making esters that smelled like fruits. At some point it hit me, all at once, like the most obvious thing in the world: I could be a pharmacist! It was like a revelation that had been staring me in the face for years, and I was amazed at how it had taken me so long to realize it. I began trying to learn as much as I could about pharmacy. At the time I was working at Children’s Hospital in Birmingham, volunteering in Behavioral Health. I loved the little bit of time I got to spend with these children weekly, coloring or playing dominoes. When I graduated and moved back to Montgomery, I was able to get a job as a pharmacy technician at a major institutional pharmacy. Although we work at a fast pace, and I’m probably learning a bit less about medicine than I would at a retail pharmacy, I love my job and I absolutely love medicine. Since we handle thousands of scripts every day, I get to work with a wide variety of medicine and preparations, which has further strengthened my love of medicine. In addition, the classes I am taking to finish my prerequisites have been fascinating, and the magnificent complexity of even the simplest bodily function continues to amaze me.
I realize that a big part of this essay is supposed to be my long-term career goals and ambitions, and that I have spent a much of it simply discussing my background. But I believe by observing my background, one of my strongest qualities is revealed: I know that I want to be a pharmacist. I have no doubts or fears in my heart about this career. I know that God Himself has chosen this career path for me. I’ve gone through quite a lot to get here, and because of that, I have strengthened my certainty that this is where I am meant to be. I’m not choosing pharmacy for the money, or for the title. I am choosing pharmacy because it meets and fulfills the desires of my heart for my life. I strongly desire to one day be a pediatric pharmacist, working in a hospital. I believe with my whole heart that children should never have to suffer from anything and my desire is to help be a part of their relief and healing process.
I ask that you do not look at my previous choices as me being uncertain or unstable, but rather, as quests that have lead me to a fulfillment of my desire, on the journey that God has laid out for my life. I will do my absolute best to help people if I am granted the ability to do so, and I will be forever grateful to the institution that allows me these privileges.
THE END [that's not actually a part of my essay, genius]
------------------
“If I stand here, I can see the Little Red Haired girl when she comes out of her house... Of course, if she sees me peeking around this tree, she'll think I'm the dumbest person in the world... But if I don't peek around the tree, I'll never see her... Which means I probably AM the dumbest person in the world... which explains why I'm standing in a batch of poison oak.” - Charley Brown
7.1.11
27.7.10
The Most Unsatisfying Post on Calvinism and Arminianism
So...I've decided to just briefly have my little say in the Calvinism vs. Arminianism debate.
To start, I am making you aware that I know very little about Calvinism or Arminianism. What typically comes to mind when I think of them is more akin to this nifty illustration I've made than anything else. (Don't be offended, sensitive people.)
I'm not going to spend the next 3000 words writing down the arguments for or against either side. They're all very well documented, and both sides have a fair share of pluses and minuses.
Here is my MAIN problem:
Calvinism and Arminianism only cause one thing: SEPARATION.
Now, chill out. I know how violently protective people get. Hear me out.
Example A:
Let us presuppose that Calvinism is correct and we are predestined to eternity with God.
Wooo! That's great...really. It's going to be outstanding there, and I'm so glad I'll be there.....
That's all fine and good, but how will I know whether or not I'm predestined until I get to Heaven? Is Jesus going to come down and tell me? I mean, He can speak to my heart, and tell me that I am truly a child of the LORD, but really, the reason it's called faith is because you have to believe. If I KNOW that I am a child of the LORD, then me obeying is useless; first of all, because I am a child and second, whether I stray or not, since I am His child, I merely have to return to Him (even when I am at the end of my life) to receive His forgiveness.[Luke 15:11-32 ESV]
So what was the point in me being Calvinist? I won't find out whether or not I was saved until I get to Heaven [or Hell], so while on Earth, me being a Calvinist accomplished nothing, other than giving me a reason to argue with people.
Furthermore, of the few "anti-Calvinist" things I will say here, is that I want you to think about this: if God predestined everything, then God created sin.a Now I suppose that you could argue that God does not predestine everything, only the eternal elect. If that is true, then disregard the following statement, but if not, think about it. If God preordains things, then He preordained Adam to partake of the Fruit of Good and Evil, knowing very very well what the punishment was. If you take that a step further, you can postulate that God is both good and evil, for how can something that is the definition of good, cause something evil? I think we can all agree that this is not the case.
My only other "anti-Calvinist" problem is with the most obvious one. The idea of the elect. I will cite only two Bible verses, because I think this argument only needs two.
"8But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. 9The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance." 2 Peter 3:8-9 ESV
ALL. That's it. Done. Argument ended. How can the Bible, God's Holy Word, directly implanted into the hearts of men and transcribed so that we may know God's teachings and plans, say something that isn't true?
It can't.
So therefore, why would God desire that all should reach repentance, when He Himself has chosen the "non-elect" to perish. I say "non-elect" because if there is an "elect," then there has to be a "non-elect" as well. There are only two endpoints to the equation, Heaven and Hell, so whether it is by choice (i.e. believer or non-believer) or by election (i.e. elect or non-elect) there are only two options. If it is by election, than God has chosen those that would go to Heaven but also those that would go to Hell. I find it very hard to believe that my God would do so, especially considering that He makes it plain in Romans; "For everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved." Romans 10:13 ESV
Again, we have a noun that is not exclusive. Everyone. There's no clause at the bottom of Romans 10 that says "Everyone in reality only means some."
Additionally, if there are an elect, how does God chose this elect? What does He use to make me (or you, elect person) better than Joe Nonelect? This is not substantially discussed in the literature I've read, but it just seems interesting that God loves the ENTIRE world, but only loves a select few enough to save them. (I'm referencing John 3:16 here, just in case you missed the boat.)
Going along with the idea of elect, is the idea of "irresistible grace." This, as best as I can tell, means that no matter what, if you are elect, you will eventually succumb to God's divine irresistible grace. This to me seems like the ultimate excuse (especially when coupled with the idea of election) to be a lazy Christian. If I will eventually succumb to God's grace, and furthermore, if I am of the elect, why should I evangelize? Why should I read my Bible, or go to church, or share the Gospel, or do anything remotely Christ-like? I am of the elect, so I AM going to Heaven, and I WILL be overtaken by God's grace eventually. Although this is a common argument, it escapes me that I could believe that I am chosen and therefore inseparable from God, even since before I knew God or decided to accept His son Jesus. Why then be baptized, or sprinkled, or make a profession of faith, if you are already saved or not saved?
Last verse:
3This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, 4who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. 1 Timothy 2:3-4 ESV
So...that's my beating up on Calvinists. Although this is a relatively one-sided argument from me, I do have several moot points with you Arminianists too.
Example B:
Walt Harris, a student from Millbrook, Alabama, has quite a few Calvinist friends. These friends, who hopefully read his arguments with an attempt at being unbiased, probably dislike Walt a little bit more, because they now know (or think) that he is an "Arminianist." Regardless of their true feelings towards me, they now know that we disagree on an important aspect of our faith. This has just caused at least some division, which is therefore proof of my argument on the USELESSNESS of both parties.
While I am not an Arminianist, or at least I do not wish to be classified as one (me being the non-denominational 'Christian-hippie' that I am), I do admittedly subscribe to more Arminian beliefs than Calvinist.
BUT
The main point still exists. The ONLY thing that being a Calvinist or Arminianist does for you (in this world AND the next, think about that) is cause division.
It causes division between friends (which it has for me before), it causes division between churches, it causes division between spouses, family, and I believe especially causes division among believers and non-believers.
How can someone who doesn't believe want to be a part of a faith (I hate the term 'religion') that is so sharply divided over issues of semantics? (Yes, the only reason we have both sides, period, is the semantics of the Bible.)
Furthermore, why would a world that tends to think most Christians are (to use the cliché) 'holier-than-thou' snobs want to be a part of something that says "you have to be chosen to get to Heaven"? Fundamentally, this is what Calvinism says.
Lastly, and I did a poor job of driving this home, especially since I pointed out all my problems with Calvinism, even though I couldn't come up with many for Arminianism [although I do not support or fully subscribe to either], is the fact that either way, in the end, we will NEVER know whether or not we are predestined until we get to Heaven, and by then, it will not matter anymore.
NEVER. That's an absolute. We will never ever ever know, not in 200 million years, and surely not within our lifetimes, short of Jesus' triumphant return. Even if we get to Heaven or Christ returns, I doubt that God is going to tell us whether or not predestination exists. I'm not going to say He won't, because it is quite possible, and I wouldn't mind knowing.
BUT can you honestly say that when you see your mansion and those streets of gold, that you're really even going to give a crap why or how you got there?
a Perry, http://people.cis.ksu.edu/~bbp9857/calvinism.html
-----------------
"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction." - Blaise Pascal
To start, I am making you aware that I know very little about Calvinism or Arminianism. What typically comes to mind when I think of them is more akin to this nifty illustration I've made than anything else. (Don't be offended, sensitive people.)
I'm not going to spend the next 3000 words writing down the arguments for or against either side. They're all very well documented, and both sides have a fair share of pluses and minuses.
Here is my MAIN problem:
Calvinism and Arminianism only cause one thing: SEPARATION.
Now, chill out. I know how violently protective people get. Hear me out.
Example A:
Let us presuppose that Calvinism is correct and we are predestined to eternity with God.
Wooo! That's great...really. It's going to be outstanding there, and I'm so glad I'll be there.....
That's all fine and good, but how will I know whether or not I'm predestined until I get to Heaven? Is Jesus going to come down and tell me? I mean, He can speak to my heart, and tell me that I am truly a child of the LORD, but really, the reason it's called faith is because you have to believe. If I KNOW that I am a child of the LORD, then me obeying is useless; first of all, because I am a child and second, whether I stray or not, since I am His child, I merely have to return to Him (even when I am at the end of my life) to receive His forgiveness.[Luke 15:11-32 ESV]
So what was the point in me being Calvinist? I won't find out whether or not I was saved until I get to Heaven [or Hell], so while on Earth, me being a Calvinist accomplished nothing, other than giving me a reason to argue with people.
Furthermore, of the few "anti-Calvinist" things I will say here, is that I want you to think about this: if God predestined everything, then God created sin.a Now I suppose that you could argue that God does not predestine everything, only the eternal elect. If that is true, then disregard the following statement, but if not, think about it. If God preordains things, then He preordained Adam to partake of the Fruit of Good and Evil, knowing very very well what the punishment was. If you take that a step further, you can postulate that God is both good and evil, for how can something that is the definition of good, cause something evil? I think we can all agree that this is not the case.
My only other "anti-Calvinist" problem is with the most obvious one. The idea of the elect. I will cite only two Bible verses, because I think this argument only needs two.
"8But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. 9The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance." 2 Peter 3:8-9 ESV
ALL. That's it. Done. Argument ended. How can the Bible, God's Holy Word, directly implanted into the hearts of men and transcribed so that we may know God's teachings and plans, say something that isn't true?
It can't.
So therefore, why would God desire that all should reach repentance, when He Himself has chosen the "non-elect" to perish. I say "non-elect" because if there is an "elect," then there has to be a "non-elect" as well. There are only two endpoints to the equation, Heaven and Hell, so whether it is by choice (i.e. believer or non-believer) or by election (i.e. elect or non-elect) there are only two options. If it is by election, than God has chosen those that would go to Heaven but also those that would go to Hell. I find it very hard to believe that my God would do so, especially considering that He makes it plain in Romans; "For everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved." Romans 10:13 ESV
Again, we have a noun that is not exclusive. Everyone. There's no clause at the bottom of Romans 10 that says "Everyone in reality only means some."
Additionally, if there are an elect, how does God chose this elect? What does He use to make me (or you, elect person) better than Joe Nonelect? This is not substantially discussed in the literature I've read, but it just seems interesting that God loves the ENTIRE world, but only loves a select few enough to save them. (I'm referencing John 3:16 here, just in case you missed the boat.)
Going along with the idea of elect, is the idea of "irresistible grace." This, as best as I can tell, means that no matter what, if you are elect, you will eventually succumb to God's divine irresistible grace. This to me seems like the ultimate excuse (especially when coupled with the idea of election) to be a lazy Christian. If I will eventually succumb to God's grace, and furthermore, if I am of the elect, why should I evangelize? Why should I read my Bible, or go to church, or share the Gospel, or do anything remotely Christ-like? I am of the elect, so I AM going to Heaven, and I WILL be overtaken by God's grace eventually. Although this is a common argument, it escapes me that I could believe that I am chosen and therefore inseparable from God, even since before I knew God or decided to accept His son Jesus. Why then be baptized, or sprinkled, or make a profession of faith, if you are already saved or not saved?
Last verse:
3This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, 4who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. 1 Timothy 2:3-4 ESV
So...that's my beating up on Calvinists. Although this is a relatively one-sided argument from me, I do have several moot points with you Arminianists too.
Example B:
Walt Harris, a student from Millbrook, Alabama, has quite a few Calvinist friends. These friends, who hopefully read his arguments with an attempt at being unbiased, probably dislike Walt a little bit more, because they now know (or think) that he is an "Arminianist." Regardless of their true feelings towards me, they now know that we disagree on an important aspect of our faith. This has just caused at least some division, which is therefore proof of my argument on the USELESSNESS of both parties.
While I am not an Arminianist, or at least I do not wish to be classified as one (me being the non-denominational 'Christian-hippie' that I am), I do admittedly subscribe to more Arminian beliefs than Calvinist.
BUT
The main point still exists. The ONLY thing that being a Calvinist or Arminianist does for you (in this world AND the next, think about that) is cause division.
It causes division between friends (which it has for me before), it causes division between churches, it causes division between spouses, family, and I believe especially causes division among believers and non-believers.
How can someone who doesn't believe want to be a part of a faith (I hate the term 'religion') that is so sharply divided over issues of semantics? (Yes, the only reason we have both sides, period, is the semantics of the Bible.)
Furthermore, why would a world that tends to think most Christians are (to use the cliché) 'holier-than-thou' snobs want to be a part of something that says "you have to be chosen to get to Heaven"? Fundamentally, this is what Calvinism says.
Lastly, and I did a poor job of driving this home, especially since I pointed out all my problems with Calvinism, even though I couldn't come up with many for Arminianism [although I do not support or fully subscribe to either], is the fact that either way, in the end, we will NEVER know whether or not we are predestined until we get to Heaven, and by then, it will not matter anymore.
NEVER. That's an absolute. We will never ever ever know, not in 200 million years, and surely not within our lifetimes, short of Jesus' triumphant return. Even if we get to Heaven or Christ returns, I doubt that God is going to tell us whether or not predestination exists. I'm not going to say He won't, because it is quite possible, and I wouldn't mind knowing.
BUT can you honestly say that when you see your mansion and those streets of gold, that you're really even going to give a crap why or how you got there?
a Perry, http://people.cis.ksu.edu/~bbp9857/calvinism.html
-----------------
"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction." - Blaise Pascal
21.7.10
In 17 Days, Nothing Will Change
Not a very positive way to start a blog, right? Especially one that's being written about how I want my life to be a better story (i.e. to change).
In 17 days, I will graduate from college. I will have a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Photography and Graphic Design.
For many, graduating from college is one of the most superlative moments of their life. Even if they are going on to further their education, they still feel like one of the larger life hurdles is over for them, and they are finally a "true" adult.
For me this is not true.
For one, I am moving back in with my parents this fall, which arguably is a step backward from "true" adulthood.
I am continuing my education, but not as a graduate student, no no no. I am a "second degree" undergrad, because I made some faulty decisions and chose the career that I thought I would have the most fun at, rather than the one that God chose for me. [Even though I do love my art, and it is a huge part of my life, it is not where I'm supposed to be.] My pre-pharmacy education will hopefully take another year, upon which I'll get into Samford, and be good to go, albeit in debt $150,000.
Furthermore, the last summer class I'm taking, Chemistry 2, which should be a pretty average course, difficulty-wise, is killing me. I'm making grades that I've never made on tests, and just completely lacking the motivation to do better.
I'm feeling overwhelmed with moving out and lately, I'm having the Garden State moment.
I've had it before, but this time it feels more permanent. It's the primary reason why I could care less about repainting my currently magenta/gold bedroom at home (and besides, it was never mine to begin with anyways).
The point is: something has to change.
Since chemistry is most certainly not going to get easier for me, and since my $150,000 is not going to pay itself off, and since I eventually want to be an "adult," or at least something akin to that, I've decided that I need to change.
I need to rearrange my priorities, which for me means unplugging my tv. Spending free time studying rather than seeing how hot Piper is looking on Covert Affairs (one of my new favorite shows). I need to spend more time with God; praying, studying, worshiping and sharing. I know that's a Sunday school answer, but if its true I find it hard to omit. Of course, there are others, and since this is for the Living A Better Story Contest I figure I should be more specific.
GO!
In the next year I want to make A's. All A's. Nothing BUT A's. That one's pretty simple. I need to change.
I want to get a job, paying or non, in some sort of pharmacy-relevant environment. I need the experience, and I want the knowledge. I need to change.
I want to do the Ride:Well Tour. There, I said it. I know it's a big shoe to fill, but its so true. Minus getting into pharmacy school, I want this more than almost anything else I have on my list. This one is tricky though, because in order to be able to have June 1 - August 1 off, I have to get a really good PCAT score, and get good grades, so that I can get into Samford my first time around. If not, I need to take summer classes and try to get into Auburn, therefore, no Ride:Well. I'm almost to my goal amount for my new bike, and I'm committed to starting to train this fall. I need to change.
I want to raise a meaningful amount of money for Blood:Water, and another charity. I'm adding the "other charity" part because if you know me, you know I love Blood:Water and I can get a little annoying about it sometimes possibly. I figure I should share the love, and try to help some other cause, especially since there are so many. I need to make my community aware, and stir people's hearts to heal the world. I need to change.
I want to take beautiful photographs. I am the worst photography major you will ever meet. I have barely touched my camera over the past two years, and although I still take decent photos, I am totally out of touch with a facet of my life that completely consumed me for a while. I know this sounds unimportant to you, but getting back that person to me is huge. I need to change.
I want to be a man worth marrying. I want to be the type of man that can be with someone forever. This requires a lot of growing up. A lot of intimacy. A whole hell of a lot of scariness. And for me, it requires being more open than I ever have before. I need to change.
{I could go on for days, but I figure realistically, I'm not going to commit to a bunch of stereotypical, metaphorical goals and then let myself, and especially the people around me, down.}
So....
Finally, I want to be able to dance. That link probably just lost me the contest, and even though it's much less serious, it is true. Besides, the mood needed lightening. And seriously, I believe that dancing is an interestingly vital part of our being made in God's image. It is about freedom, and intimacy, and being alive. Even still, I need to change. [At least enough to make it through a reception.]
I think the Living A Better Story seminar would help by giving me the motivation and encouragement to know that my goals aren't crazy. To know that even though I'm an average human being, I can be wonderful. My story can resound throughout my surroundings and motivate others to change their stories. I think it would help me to compassionately move others, because I believe without a strong stirring in the heart, no one is ever truly motivated for change. I'm sick of being an average guy with good intentions, and although I know I can make these changes on my own, Living a Better Story would be an absolutely astounding chance to take a first step. A "no-turning back step," if you will.
In chemistry, reactions don't happen unless you force them too. Sure, some reactions happen readily, and easily, but they still require that irreversible moment to start them, from which you can't ever go fully back. If I go to the seminar, not only will I change because my heart desires it, I will also change because I know that I can and I must. That first step is the one that I can't turn back from, and once I take it, I know the other risks and rewards will pan out, somehow and some way. I want the extreme difficulty, and the ridiculous amount of satisfaction that comes with knowing I've given it my all, and my all is all I can do.
I will change.
The link to the conference website is here.
-----------------
"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea." - Antoine de Saint Exupéry
In 17 days, I will graduate from college. I will have a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Photography and Graphic Design.
For many, graduating from college is one of the most superlative moments of their life. Even if they are going on to further their education, they still feel like one of the larger life hurdles is over for them, and they are finally a "true" adult.
For me this is not true.
For one, I am moving back in with my parents this fall, which arguably is a step backward from "true" adulthood.
I am continuing my education, but not as a graduate student, no no no. I am a "second degree" undergrad, because I made some faulty decisions and chose the career that I thought I would have the most fun at, rather than the one that God chose for me. [Even though I do love my art, and it is a huge part of my life, it is not where I'm supposed to be.] My pre-pharmacy education will hopefully take another year, upon which I'll get into Samford, and be good to go, albeit in debt $150,000.
Furthermore, the last summer class I'm taking, Chemistry 2, which should be a pretty average course, difficulty-wise, is killing me. I'm making grades that I've never made on tests, and just completely lacking the motivation to do better.
I'm feeling overwhelmed with moving out and lately, I'm having the Garden State moment.
I've had it before, but this time it feels more permanent. It's the primary reason why I could care less about repainting my currently magenta/gold bedroom at home (and besides, it was never mine to begin with anyways).
The point is: something has to change.
Since chemistry is most certainly not going to get easier for me, and since my $150,000 is not going to pay itself off, and since I eventually want to be an "adult," or at least something akin to that, I've decided that I need to change.
I need to rearrange my priorities, which for me means unplugging my tv. Spending free time studying rather than seeing how hot Piper is looking on Covert Affairs (one of my new favorite shows). I need to spend more time with God; praying, studying, worshiping and sharing. I know that's a Sunday school answer, but if its true I find it hard to omit. Of course, there are others, and since this is for the Living A Better Story Contest I figure I should be more specific.
GO!
In the next year I want to make A's. All A's. Nothing BUT A's. That one's pretty simple. I need to change.
I want to get a job, paying or non, in some sort of pharmacy-relevant environment. I need the experience, and I want the knowledge. I need to change.
I want to do the Ride:Well Tour. There, I said it. I know it's a big shoe to fill, but its so true. Minus getting into pharmacy school, I want this more than almost anything else I have on my list. This one is tricky though, because in order to be able to have June 1 - August 1 off, I have to get a really good PCAT score, and get good grades, so that I can get into Samford my first time around. If not, I need to take summer classes and try to get into Auburn, therefore, no Ride:Well. I'm almost to my goal amount for my new bike, and I'm committed to starting to train this fall. I need to change.
I want to raise a meaningful amount of money for Blood:Water, and another charity. I'm adding the "other charity" part because if you know me, you know I love Blood:Water and I can get a little annoying about it sometimes possibly. I figure I should share the love, and try to help some other cause, especially since there are so many. I need to make my community aware, and stir people's hearts to heal the world. I need to change.
I want to take beautiful photographs. I am the worst photography major you will ever meet. I have barely touched my camera over the past two years, and although I still take decent photos, I am totally out of touch with a facet of my life that completely consumed me for a while. I know this sounds unimportant to you, but getting back that person to me is huge. I need to change.
I want to be a man worth marrying. I want to be the type of man that can be with someone forever. This requires a lot of growing up. A lot of intimacy. A whole hell of a lot of scariness. And for me, it requires being more open than I ever have before. I need to change.
{I could go on for days, but I figure realistically, I'm not going to commit to a bunch of stereotypical, metaphorical goals and then let myself, and especially the people around me, down.}
So....
Finally, I want to be able to dance. That link probably just lost me the contest, and even though it's much less serious, it is true. Besides, the mood needed lightening. And seriously, I believe that dancing is an interestingly vital part of our being made in God's image. It is about freedom, and intimacy, and being alive. Even still, I need to change. [At least enough to make it through a reception.]
I think the Living A Better Story seminar would help by giving me the motivation and encouragement to know that my goals aren't crazy. To know that even though I'm an average human being, I can be wonderful. My story can resound throughout my surroundings and motivate others to change their stories. I think it would help me to compassionately move others, because I believe without a strong stirring in the heart, no one is ever truly motivated for change. I'm sick of being an average guy with good intentions, and although I know I can make these changes on my own, Living a Better Story would be an absolutely astounding chance to take a first step. A "no-turning back step," if you will.
In chemistry, reactions don't happen unless you force them too. Sure, some reactions happen readily, and easily, but they still require that irreversible moment to start them, from which you can't ever go fully back. If I go to the seminar, not only will I change because my heart desires it, I will also change because I know that I can and I must. That first step is the one that I can't turn back from, and once I take it, I know the other risks and rewards will pan out, somehow and some way. I want the extreme difficulty, and the ridiculous amount of satisfaction that comes with knowing I've given it my all, and my all is all I can do.
I will change.
The link to the conference website is here.
Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.
-----------------
"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea." - Antoine de Saint Exupéry
25.2.10
Portez ce vieux whisky au juge blond qui fume
I've decided to write today.
I'm not gonna say I'm going to start writing again, because who knows if that's actually true. But I don't really feel like reading Iconoclasm and the Creation of Images in Emanuel de Witte's "Old Church in Amsterdam" by Angela Vanhaelen, my ARH reading for 11:00.
I have a girlfriend now, in case you're unaware. You probably already know this because you care enough to read this gibberish. But hey, who knows...maybe Obama decides to read this today, and he didn't know.
Her name is Tori Callahan and she's pretty spectacular. But I hate mushy people so that's all I'm saying about that.
I'm not really sure what to write, it's like when you see a friend you haven't seen in years and there's no way to really catch up without spending forever, so you just kinda explain a few things and then carry on.
I've also fully decided to do pharmacy. I was teeter-tottering for 6 or 7 months, since the prerequisite work isn't too different from premed, but I've decided it;s the way to go.
This is really boring me.
So the title for today is "Portez ce vieux whisky au juge blond qui fume" which is French, and means "Carry this old whisky to the blonde judge who smokes."
It's a pangram, much like the English "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog." Actually, exactly like that, because they're the same thing, minus the language difference. I doubt you wanted to know that, but I saw a bag with it on it yesterday at Them-Thangs and wanted to share.
(Just in case, Them-Thangs is NSFW.)
I've been wanting to take more pictures lately, and since I kinda do need to read at least a little bit before class, I'm going to quickly leave you with some SWEET artwork to look at.
http://images.krop.com/muller-4976f07b76f0.jpg
http://inapcache.boston.com/universal/site_graphics/blogs/bigpicture/v2010_02_19/v34_22245065.jpg
http://behance.vo.llnwd.net/profiles/78456/projects/339643/784561257244614.jpg
http://www.colectiva.tv/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/andreasgursky.jpg
FIN.
I'm not gonna say I'm going to start writing again, because who knows if that's actually true. But I don't really feel like reading Iconoclasm and the Creation of Images in Emanuel de Witte's "Old Church in Amsterdam" by Angela Vanhaelen, my ARH reading for 11:00.
I have a girlfriend now, in case you're unaware. You probably already know this because you care enough to read this gibberish. But hey, who knows...maybe Obama decides to read this today, and he didn't know.
Her name is Tori Callahan and she's pretty spectacular. But I hate mushy people so that's all I'm saying about that.
I'm not really sure what to write, it's like when you see a friend you haven't seen in years and there's no way to really catch up without spending forever, so you just kinda explain a few things and then carry on.
I've also fully decided to do pharmacy. I was teeter-tottering for 6 or 7 months, since the prerequisite work isn't too different from premed, but I've decided it;s the way to go.
This is really boring me.
So the title for today is "Portez ce vieux whisky au juge blond qui fume" which is French, and means "Carry this old whisky to the blonde judge who smokes."
It's a pangram, much like the English "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog." Actually, exactly like that, because they're the same thing, minus the language difference. I doubt you wanted to know that, but I saw a bag with it on it yesterday at Them-Thangs and wanted to share.
(Just in case, Them-Thangs is NSFW.)
I've been wanting to take more pictures lately, and since I kinda do need to read at least a little bit before class, I'm going to quickly leave you with some SWEET artwork to look at.
http://images.krop.com/muller-4976f07b76f0.jpg
http://inapcache.boston.com/universal/site_graphics/blogs/bigpicture/v2010_02_19/v34_22245065.jpg
http://behance.vo.llnwd.net/profiles/78456/projects/339643/784561257244614.jpg
http://www.colectiva.tv/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/andreasgursky.jpg
FIN.
14.9.09
Tu Possèdes les Étoiles?
click!
click!
click!
click!
click!
click!
click!
click!
click!
-----------------
Thy cheek begins to redden thro' the gloom,
Thy sweet eyes brighten slowly close to mine,
Ere yet they blind the stars, and the wild team
Which love thee, yearning for thy yoke, arise,
And shake the darkness from their loosen'd manes,
And beat the twilight into flakes of fire.
Lo! ever thus thou growest beautiful
In silence, then before thine answer given
Departest, and thy tears are on my cheek." - Alfred Lord Tennyson
click!
click!
click!
click!
click!
click!
click!
click!
-----------------
Thy cheek begins to redden thro' the gloom,
Thy sweet eyes brighten slowly close to mine,
Ere yet they blind the stars, and the wild team
Which love thee, yearning for thy yoke, arise,
And shake the darkness from their loosen'd manes,
And beat the twilight into flakes of fire.
Lo! ever thus thou growest beautiful
In silence, then before thine answer given
Departest, and thy tears are on my cheek." - Alfred Lord Tennyson
11.9.09
L'éléphant Cramoisi
So today was my first day of winemaking.
-What's that you say?? You're winemaking?
-Why yes computer. I'm making muscadine wine.
-Like in that song?
-Yes computer.
-Wow. Nice. *cough 'redneck!'*
-It's gonna be really good. You'll see. I've got a enough to make probably 20 bottles. Although it takes 2-4 years to fully mature.
-Geek. I guess that's cool though. Have you named it?
-What?
-You know. Like Boone's Farm, or Sutter Home.
-A**hole.
-But no seriously, have you named it?
-Yes computer. I'm calling it L'éléphant Cramoisi.
-Lell uh font cramsy?
-L'éléphant Cramoisi.
-What the hell does that mean?
-It means "the crimson elephant" in French. Don't you know how to translate hundreds of languages computer?
-Not when I'm set to understand only one, jerk!
-Oh. My bad.
-So anyways, its called the crimson elephant. Any other details??
-Sure. I used a recipe from this super old website, semi combined with two or three others I found online. But I'm mostly sticking with the first site.
-Wow...talk about your web 1.0. That's some low tech stuff.
-Yeah...but it seems legit. And my readings coincide with it!
-Readings? What are you reading? I'd recommend The Little Prince or A Perfect Day for Bananafish.
-No the wine readings! Chemical stuff. Duh.
-Ohhhh. That's another problem you get when your brain sees everything as definition number 1.
-It's ok computer.
-So what were the readings??
-Well, I guess I'll just go ahead and put them out factually.
Vinification:
Friday, September 11, 2009. 3-6pm (approx) and into primary fermentor.
No yeast added yet.
So far, must has 14lbs (approx) muscadines (13.5±0.5lbs scuppernongs.)
6 quarts of water.
5.8±0.2lbs of Sugar
0.05±0.1lbs of Raw Honey
2.1 tsp of yeast nutrient
2 crushed Campden tablets
Must Temperature (at 6:32pm CST): approx. 80°F.
Humidity (outside, 35401 zip code): 85%
Weather: Cloudy, 75°F (previously cooler and raining)
Pressure: 30.03
Dewpoint: 70°F
First Wine Readings:
pH= 3.3±0.1
SG= 1.112 (approx)
PA= 14%
Balling: 25
At approx 6am I will add pectic enzyme if I can find any.
At 6pm the yeast will be added and fermentation will actually begin.
Wine currently in: primary.
..................................
-Ba bo ba bo beep beep bo bap bo beep. Wow. That's a lot of information.....Wezley. (skip to 6:05 if you wanna see what I'm talking about.)
-I know computer. I don't even think it's that important. But it's nice to have.
-I guess....... Sure. It's great to have! I love information!!
-Suck up. You just don't wanna be replaced!
-----------------
Gandhi: "'Black and Tan'! High five, racial pride!"
George Washington Carver: "I don't like those movies, Mahatma. They're full of bad dialogue, contrived plot twists and they perpetuate racial stereotypes."
[throws a ball of paper towards the garbage, misses]
-What's that you say?? You're winemaking?
-Why yes computer. I'm making muscadine wine.
-Like in that song?
-Yes computer.
-Wow. Nice. *cough 'redneck!'*
-It's gonna be really good. You'll see. I've got a enough to make probably 20 bottles. Although it takes 2-4 years to fully mature.
-Geek. I guess that's cool though. Have you named it?
-What?
-You know. Like Boone's Farm, or Sutter Home.
-A**hole.
-But no seriously, have you named it?
-Yes computer. I'm calling it L'éléphant Cramoisi.
-Lell uh font cramsy?
-L'éléphant Cramoisi.
-What the hell does that mean?
-It means "the crimson elephant" in French. Don't you know how to translate hundreds of languages computer?
-Not when I'm set to understand only one, jerk!
-Oh. My bad.
-So anyways, its called the crimson elephant. Any other details??
-Sure. I used a recipe from this super old website, semi combined with two or three others I found online. But I'm mostly sticking with the first site.
-Wow...talk about your web 1.0. That's some low tech stuff.
-Yeah...but it seems legit. And my readings coincide with it!
-Readings? What are you reading? I'd recommend The Little Prince or A Perfect Day for Bananafish.
-No the wine readings! Chemical stuff. Duh.
-Ohhhh. That's another problem you get when your brain sees everything as definition number 1.
-It's ok computer.
-So what were the readings??
-Well, I guess I'll just go ahead and put them out factually.
Vinification:
Friday, September 11, 2009. 3-6pm (approx) and into primary fermentor.
No yeast added yet.
So far, must has 14lbs (approx) muscadines (13.5±0.5lbs scuppernongs.)
6 quarts of water.
5.8±0.2lbs of Sugar
0.05±0.1lbs of Raw Honey
2.1 tsp of yeast nutrient
2 crushed Campden tablets
Must Temperature (at 6:32pm CST): approx. 80°F.
Humidity (outside, 35401 zip code): 85%
Weather: Cloudy, 75°F (previously cooler and raining)
Pressure: 30.03
Dewpoint: 70°F
First Wine Readings:
pH= 3.3±0.1
SG= 1.112 (approx)
PA= 14%
Balling: 25
At approx 6am I will add pectic enzyme if I can find any.
At 6pm the yeast will be added and fermentation will actually begin.
Wine currently in: primary.
..................................
-Ba bo ba bo beep beep bo bap bo beep. Wow. That's a lot of information.....Wezley. (skip to 6:05 if you wanna see what I'm talking about.)
-I know computer. I don't even think it's that important. But it's nice to have.
-I guess....... Sure. It's great to have! I love information!!
-Suck up. You just don't wanna be replaced!
-----------------
Gandhi: "'Black and Tan'! High five, racial pride!"
George Washington Carver: "I don't like those movies, Mahatma. They're full of bad dialogue, contrived plot twists and they perpetuate racial stereotypes."
[throws a ball of paper towards the garbage, misses]
7.7.09
Limpia, fija y da Esplendor.
So here I sit.
11:47pm CST at
[N 33.20226°]
[W 87.54724°]
Taking a break from studying calculus because I literally have a headache. And I'm probably gonna be up all night which means I still have about 12 hours before I have to start panicking. I'm not sure why I hate this calculus class so much, or why I'm having such a difficult time with it. I understand all the concepts fairly well, but understanding how to work out each problem just seems to escape me. And this is hardly the hardest class I'm going to have in the next 6 years. I think I have such an aversion to this class because
1) It's a summer class. Who want's to spend 5 hours a week staring at a 65 year old woman writing out formulas?
2)I've been partially clinically diagnosed with ADHD. Which I've put off (ironically) seeing a psychologist about, to get drugs or at least therapy.
3)It's math!
4)It's math that feels mostly irrelevant! (I loved learning about radiometric dating, because it's practical. Most everything else hasn't been.)
5)I'm technically not even supposed to be in the class (I've managed to loophole the pre-req system it seems, by taking it at Shelton.)
I know. I'm whining, and procrastinating at the same time, which is going to make me hate the class even more, when I have to drop out because otherwise I'm going to fail.
I just wanted to issue my list of grievances. I'm like a colonist making my foray into the brave new world of art students deciding they want to be doctors. Not that I'm the first...but you get the metaphor. Tyrant King Science doesn't like me very much, but I will have my revolution. Oh I will. Give me an MD or give me death! We will overcome! I have a dream! Viva la revolution!
NOTE: I had an Albert Einstein quote below until I read this one. It (obviously) is quite similar to Benjamin Button, which I didn't really care for, but in a much happier, more profound way. Maybe we do have it all wrong?
-----------------
“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...
...and you finish off as an orgasm.” - George Carlin
11:47pm CST at
[N 33.20226°]
[W 87.54724°]
Taking a break from studying calculus because I literally have a headache. And I'm probably gonna be up all night which means I still have about 12 hours before I have to start panicking. I'm not sure why I hate this calculus class so much, or why I'm having such a difficult time with it. I understand all the concepts fairly well, but understanding how to work out each problem just seems to escape me. And this is hardly the hardest class I'm going to have in the next 6 years. I think I have such an aversion to this class because
1) It's a summer class. Who want's to spend 5 hours a week staring at a 65 year old woman writing out formulas?
2)I've been partially clinically diagnosed with ADHD. Which I've put off (ironically) seeing a psychologist about, to get drugs or at least therapy.
3)It's math!
4)It's math that feels mostly irrelevant! (I loved learning about radiometric dating, because it's practical. Most everything else hasn't been.)
5)I'm technically not even supposed to be in the class (I've managed to loophole the pre-req system it seems, by taking it at Shelton.)
I know. I'm whining, and procrastinating at the same time, which is going to make me hate the class even more, when I have to drop out because otherwise I'm going to fail.
I just wanted to issue my list of grievances. I'm like a colonist making my foray into the brave new world of art students deciding they want to be doctors. Not that I'm the first...but you get the metaphor. Tyrant King Science doesn't like me very much, but I will have my revolution. Oh I will. Give me an MD or give me death! We will overcome! I have a dream! Viva la revolution!
NOTE: I had an Albert Einstein quote below until I read this one. It (obviously) is quite similar to Benjamin Button, which I didn't really care for, but in a much happier, more profound way. Maybe we do have it all wrong?
-----------------
“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...
...and you finish off as an orgasm.” - George Carlin
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
